Mandatory Advertising Time

I’m about to enter a very busy week-and-a-bit. Therefore, sorry if a) I abandon this blog for a bit, possibly sticking up a ‘please stand by’ test-card, or b) get that exhausted/caffeine-addled that I come on here at 4am and babble on nonsensically…not that there would be a lot of difference, really.

But yes, it’s that time of year again- the 2013 UCLan Drama Society Comedy Revue. Except it’s not just that- in the next few days, I’m also in a play that my friend Ben has written for his university course, and then another play, Under The Blue Sky by David Eldridge. It’s gonna be busy. Very busy.

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been scurrying around town trying to find the various props required for sketches- ranging from a false moustache (easy enough), through to a Victorian-style birdcage (a lot more challenging, that one), and a dog collar I can only describe as being put through a personal Holocaust. Seriously, it was:

  • Slashed with a large steak knife
  • Stabbed repeatedly with a corkscrew
  • Torn at with pliers (losing some studs in the process)
  • Roughly shoved half in an envelope and set on fire
  • Left in a salt-water solution (to rust it- didn’t work)
  • Left in a soapy-water solution (to soften it up a little, and to hide the disgusting smell- it was so bad I had to go throw up)

It looks pretty grisly, yo.


I’ve also been busy making flyers and posters for publicity. Now, I could have used Photoshop (or similar) , but where’s the fun in that? It’s so much better using a Sharpie and a Xerox machine (yes, it’s 1992 and I’m an indie record label, I know). So after a few hours work, these were created:

IMG1056 IMG1058 IMG1064 IMG1065 IMG1071 IMG1072

I’m actually rather proud of them.

I’d love to be able to add ‘graphic designer’ to my long list of things I can claim I am (writer, musician, photographer, wannabe wrestler, failed comedian etc) but it’s not really ‘graphics’, is it? It’s a weird doodled/Sharpied piece of paper. I’m sure it’ll get the punters interested… and find me some work (I’m happy to freelance!!!)

But yeah, I’m actually incredibly nervous about this show (wow, I’m using italics a lot today- I feel like I’m a character in a Bret Easton Ellis novel)- because the ‘original material’ noted on the poster is mine. Some of which you’ll have seen before, if you’re a regular reader/subscriber. I have no idea (there I go again) about how it will go- I’m relatively confident- we’ve got good actors who work really well together.

The centrepiece of my material is probably Dead Men Tell No Tales, which is a massively abridged stage version of the sitcom I’m writing. Just without any plot continuation, character relationships, music cues, scene changes, or anything else that situational comedies require or use. An it’s undoubtedly the one I’m most worried about.

But, it’s not all bad- I’ve got a T-shirt too!



But yeah, the 2013 UCLan Comedy Revue is on Tuesday April 30th and Wednesday May 1st, at the Mitchell & Kenyon Theatre, Preston. Free entry (with charity donations welcome)

(Dial Tone)


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